Not Like You Thought It Would Be
by PearlyJammer
Summary: Scott reaches out to a friend, and finds the reason for his dissapearance.


Title:  Not Like You Thought It Would Be

Series:  Gradually Tainted 

Author:  Autumn 

E-mail: autumnleaves@autumnpenguins.com 

Archive: DDFH, APE, others please ask 

Rating: R, language etc.  

Summary: Scott reaches out to a friend in need.  A very bubby-fic for Logan and Scott.  

Author's Notes:  I blame this entirely on 'Riot Act.' This tune caught my attention and instantly flung a bunny.  Conveniently enough, this story is the perfect prequel to an upcoming AU  fic entitled "Bad Blood." 

******8  Indicates a passage of time. 

Disclaimer:  I do not own The X-Men;  "Save You" is property of the delectable Pearl Jam. 

*******************  

Gonna save you fucker…….not gonna lose you 

Feeling cocky and strong…….Can't let you go 

Too important too me

"Charles, come on.  Would you just try?"  

"Scott, you know I can't."  

"Look, he's been gone for three days.  This isn't normal."  

"He just needs time."  

"Sir, I think its safe to say I know him better than you do.  Just this once I'm asking you to do this, for him."  

A long pause.  "Very well Scott.  But you know what I think."  

"I do.  But trust me on this."  

*******  

            It took Scott another two days to track Logan down from where Xavier had located him.  Not surprisingly, it was in a town just north of the Canadian border.  Logan always seemed to drift north when something serious was bothering him.  It had been nearly two years since Rogue and Logan had turned up at the mansion.  In that time, Logan had come and gone as he had seen fit.  Rogue always wanted to go with him, she was half in love with him since he'd saved her life on the Statue of Liberty. 

            Everybody knew there was something unspoken between them.  Rogue embodied it, Jean knew it, Scott knew it, only Logan denied it.  His reasons had never been clear, and he always skirted the question.  People had stopped asking, reasoning that Logan would deal with things in his own time.  It was a very Loganesque thing to do.  

            Rogue meanwhile was discouraged that Logan showed little more than a friendly interest in her.  Her intentions were always clear, but never accepted.  She had sought Scott out as an outlet for her confusion and to vent her rejection.  He'd come to think of her as a surrogate sister and looked out for here.  In time they'd become great confidents, and Scott found himself sharing nearly everything with the young woman.  

            But when his relationship with Jean had finally crumbled, it had been Logan who had helped to pick up the first pieces of a broken heart.  Logan hadn't shown any interest whatsoever in Jean since his initial visit to the mansion.  On the night of the breakup, Logan had mysteriously returned.  He took one look at Scott before packing him into a car and driving out to the nearest bar.    They returned several hours later, inebriated and rowdy.  A drunken brawl between them had settled the Jean issue once and for all. neither of them wanted anything to do with her.  Afterwards, the grudging respect they'd had for one another gave way to a genuine friendship.   

            The two men fought together, drank together, and argued about hockey together.  St. John had gone so far as to send Scott a card proclaiming 'Congratulations!.'  Against his better judgment, Scott peeked inside.  The entire senior class had apparently 'wished all the happiness to him and Logan as long as their union should last.   The insinuations continued as it was about the same time that Logan moved into mansion almost permanently.  He would still leave for stretches of time, but he finally seemed comfortable with calling the mansion home, or so Scott had thought.  

**************************        

And fuck me if I say something you don't wanna hear 

And fuck me if you only hear what you wanna hear 

Fuck me if I care……….but I'm not leaving here 

            Logan had come home after a final stretch up at the base at Alkali.  His ritual upon return was always to seek out Rouge, just to let her know he was safe and if he'd found anything.  She had been plagued by his nightmares since the event, as they referred too it.  Logan figured she deserved to know who the hell the people in the dreams were.  "She left Logan." Kitty informed him.  

"When?"   

"About two months ago." The soft-spoken woman answered.  

"Where is she?"   

"I'm not supposed to tell you Logan.  She asked me not too."   

            The words had stung him.  Marie didn't want him to know where she was?  What in the hell was that all about? 

"Logan, just let her go.  You owe her that." Kitty said, and edge to her voice that meant business. 

"When is she coming back?" He pressed.  

"She's not."  Scott answered, emerging from a doorway.   

Logan just stared at him.  Aside from Scott, Marie was the only person he really liked talking to at great lengths.  "How-" he began. 

"She went off to do her own thing, just let it alone."  Scott said, his voice indicating the discussion was closed.        

"Alright, fine."  Logan said tersely, picking up his bag and heading back out the door.  

************************

You helped me when I was down……..I'll help you when you're down 

Why are you hitting yourself?…… C'mon hit me instead 

Let's pick up your will……..its grown fat and lazy 

I'm sympathetic as well……. Don't go on me now 

            Scott located the bike in no time.  It was displayed proudly in front of the bar.  He smiled softly to himself before walking through the doors to search for Logan.  The room was full of smoke, but the unmistakable hunch of a pointy-headed Wolverine quickly filled his gaze.    

            "It took you five days to find me?  You suck Scooter."  Logan said without turning his head.  

            "You're a hard man to find when you don't wanna be found."  Scott answered.  

            "I'm not going back if that's what you're here for."  

            "You know that's not all I'm here for."    

            The bartender appeared in front of Scott.  The sneer on his face, told them he didn't exactly like mutants.  "You wanna park here, pay the toll."    

            "Give me a Moose Drool."  Scott said evenly.  

            The bartender plopped it down unceremoniously and gave Scott another glare before walking to the other end of the bar.       

            "Come home Logan.  We want you there.  What the hell are you going to find out here?"  

            Logan gave him a scathing look.    

            "Look Logan, if you're gonna sulk, at least do it in style.  Come back with me."   

            "Nah, you're drunk and I'm not driving."  Logan answered

******************************

And I'm not living this life without you, I'm selfish and clear 

And you're not leaving here without me, I don't wanna be without 

My best……friend……Wake up, to see you could have it all 

            Several hours later, the two men found themselves huddled up in the dingy little cabin Logan had rented.  It was barely bigger than the size of an average motel room.  Logan, while nearly impossible to get truly drunk, was a lot more willing to talk when he'd had some whisky working on him.  

"I dunno Scott, I just can't believe she didn't tell me she was leaving.  Not a word."  

"Well, Logan, did you tell her where you were going?"  

"No, but that'd different.  She's a kid still-"  

"Logan, she's 20.  Rogue is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Stop worrying, or is there another reason you're being sappy?"  

"No.  And if there was, it would be none of your goddamn business dick."  

Scott smiled, certain he'd gotten to the heart of the problem.  

Cause there is but you……and there's something within you 

its taken control…….let's beat it, get up lets go 

Oh you're in your own world……let's see the whole world 

Let's pick up your soul 

            "She pined for you Logan.  I mean she was really in love with you, or thought she was anyway.  And you had to have known." Scott's voice was sharper than it usually was when he talked to his best friend.  

            "I knew it Scott."  

            "Pheromones?" He ventured a guess.  

            "Yup.  And her body gave off different signals, language wise." Logan confided.  

            "So what was it, I know you had, have feelings for her."  

            "I don't feel like talking Scooter.  I'm beat," Logan began "you get the couch."    

            He strode off towards the small bedroom, which was only hidden by a screen from the rest of the room.  Scott heard him settle into his bed and fall into a deep sleep quickly.  He however had too much on his mind to be able to speak.  Scott had been the one to encourage Rogue to share her feelings, and felt terrible that it had backfired so badly.  He alone knew how much the young woman really cared for what he considered to be his best friend.  

            Scott wanted both of them to be happy.  They'd seen so much on the battlefield and away from it.  Rogue had a particularly harsh mutation that cut her off from the world in a very elemental way.  She couldn't touch and he couldn't see.  It was one of the things that was always there between them, the fact that they alone knew how it felt to loose a human sense.  It  bonded them, and was one of the reasons they were so at ease with each other.  It had been Scott's nasty job to tell Rogue that he'd been wrong and that the Wolverine wasn't coming around.   

***************

And fuck me if I say something you don't wanna hear 

And fuck me if you only hear the treble in your head 

Please help….me…….to help you…….help yourself 

"Hey Marie."  Scott said.  

Her radar was up right away, Scott only used her name for serious situations.  

"Its Logan."   

"He doesn't feel the same way, I know."  Marie said, sadness and resignation coloring her voice.  

"I don't know what to say Marie.  I feel, well, fuck, you know." Scott floundered about for words, indicating just how lost he himself felt.  

"Its alright Scott. Life usually doesn't always work our like you want it too."  

"That's pretty jaded."  Scott said quietly.  

"Its true though, I thought Logan and I were meant to be.  You thought you and Jean would always be together. I know Erik felt the same way about Charles too."  

"Do you still feel him in your head?"  

"Yeah, he's usually quiet, but sometimes I still get things from him."  The southern woman drawled.  

Scott put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.  They sat in companionable silence for sometime before Marie broke the silence.  

"Maybe its not life,  maybe its just love that doesn't work out the way you want it too." 

She left Scott there, alone with his thoughts, while she walked away disheartened and determined to start over again.   

****************** 

Help me help yourself……..please want me to…..please let me to 

Help you 

            Logan and Scott woke late in the afternoon, one far more hung over than the other

            "You look like shit there Scooter."  

            "Well then I look better than I feel." Scott groaned.  

            "I guess I'm driving." Logan said ad they packed their few belongings and threw the bike in the back of the 4 x 4 and set the course for home.    

            "I'm glad you came up her Scott.  Brooding gets old after awhile if there's nobody to beat up, or talk to, when you're drunk I mean."  

            "I know what you mean."  Scott smiled.    

            The rest of the trip was spent in companionable silence.  

********************  


End file.
